#FreeTheNipple Sure, But PLEASE Cover Up Your feet!
To my dismay, summer means everyone wants to let it all hang out when it comes to their feet. If you’re gunna flap your feet about, get them in check first. It’s tough love time people. You aren’t going to like everything I have to say here, but give my advice some thought, that’s all I can ask.
Now I acknowledge that I am an extreme viewpoint. After all, I take an extra pair of (always clean) ankle socks to people’s houses with me in my purse if I know I’m going to be in their home and wearing sandals. But I still think that some of my positions on this topic are valid.
It’s my sincere belief that ALL MEN EVERYWHERE should keep their feet covered at all times. No one, and I mean no one, wants to see them. There are plenty of options out there that offer comfortable and cool alternatives to the man thong sandal. Your knobby toes, athletes foot heels and unkempt toenails are not on anyone’s “hope to see” list
You don’t live in Cali and puka shell chokers aren’t making a comeback. You didn’t invent Facebook, flopping around in those adidas pool sandals shouldn’t be your signature footwear. There are lots of other options out there that are still comfortable for the summer and don’t subject the rest of the world to looking at your feet.
Now, ladies, you’re usually the worst offenders when it comes to bad feet.
Get a pedicure, or give yourself one. And when you get that pedicure, remember that toenail length is not a competition. No one wins when you let your nails grow past your actual toe and you suddenly have animal claws. It’s gross. Knock it off. People don’t want to feel like they might lose an eye should you decide to cross your legs and they get caught in the toenail crossfire.
I’m here to give you and your piggies a reality check. Yo feet, they’re nasty. That weirdly long second toe, not cute. Those cracked heels and chipped polish, not cute. That knuckle-y bump on your toe, not cute. Cover up your feet.
Your summer time shoes have a direct correlation to the look of your feet. Those nearly black, broken flip flops your walking around in, they’re gross. Throw. Them. Out. If your feet are becoming nearly black just for slipping them on, it’s time to let them go. Yes, you’ll have to break in a new pair, but it’s worth it.
Summertime can be a fun time to bust out your heels, and I’m all for that, as long as they fit. Nothing is worse than watching someone hobble around in heels that don’t fit. If they’re too tight, don’t wear them. If your heel slips out the back, don’t wear them. If your toes hang off of them in ANY WAY, don’t wear them. Fit is everything. Invest in shoes that fit and are made from natural materials so they will bend and breath in the summer.
I know I may seem a little overly dramatic, but I’m hoping my level of desperation will make you seriously look at your tender tootsies and get them in shape for summer. Don’t just promise me you’ll take care of this, promise Jimmy. Promise your Louboutin, your Chanel, your Prada, and your Air Jordans that you will stay on top of your foot maintenance.
Remember when it comes to your feet, ‘If they ain’t right, keep’em outta sight.’
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