Talk Dirty with Blurred Lines
We all have a split personality. It comes out at its best while you’re doing the deed. Getting it on. Hanging out under the sheets – catch my drift?
Dirty talk is that taboo practice we like to engage in while we are having sex. It’s fun, it keeps things spicy, and it sets you apart from the regular you. It’s not for everyone, and sometimes it’s an acquired practice that comes out when you least expect it.
Every so often…dirty talk has some blurred lines. You’re not really sure if the person is talking dirty, or being serious. When this happens it causes confusion and distraction. Do you respond? Do you stop what you’re doing and ask what that person is talking about?
Let’s have a little non-fiction story time with Caitlin, shall we?
One time I was getting it on with a guy who shall not be named…and while things were getting heated he whispered “You’re not supposed to be here.” Not just once…but several times.
At first I was confused. Thoughts running through my head ranged from:
But you invited me.
Is there somewhere else I’m supposed to be?
Why am I not supposed to be here?
Confused, I sort of laid there trying to understand where he was going with this. I had never heard this sort of subject during sex before. It was quite possible that the thought of me not supposed to actually be there was a huge turn on for him. I couldn’t really imagine why – it’s not like it was some exclusive place or party or anything like that. It was literally at his house. Obviously he was engaging in some sort of role playing because he really did invite me over.
Eventually I gathered that this was him talking dirty to me. But the issue with his dirty talk was that it really wasn’t turning me on. In fact, it was actually turning me off. Instead of going with it, I had to think for a good minute about what he was actually talking about. I also had to stifle a roar of laughter once I realized that this WAS his dirty talk. And then I felt like I needed to respond because he was so into it. But what would I say? “Oh yea, you’re right. I’m not supposed to be here.” LAME! My usually creative brain was a loss for whit and clever come-backs. So I remained in perplexed silence while he shamed me for being somewhere I ‘shouldn’t be’.
Needless to say, things got progressively weirder after that and it turned to an absolute mess of hilarious sex to tell my friends (who truly enjoy listening to my awkward experiences might I add). When I told my friends they all felt the same. It wasn’t sexy or dirty, it was weird and hilarious. And now ‘You’re not supposed to be here’ has become an on-going (once private) joke between us. We would find ways to add it into any situation and then burst into laughter. You know dirty talk has gone wrong when it becomes an on-going joke between you and your friends.
Dirty talk should be standard, but sexy. You know – the usual stuff you hear about. I don’t want to be distracted during sex. I want to enjoy it, and have fun. From that point on I waited patiently for the day one of my girlfriends would tell me a similar story…but alas. Nothing. I stopped seeing that person – I just couldn’t get past his distracting dirty talk.
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