How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days… Not on Purpose

I’m an extrovert. I’m outgoing, I like to make the people around me laugh, and I’ll pretty much say yes to everything. When it comes to guys, I can usually play it cool. But there are those few guys, the ones where there’s just something about them and you’re not really quite sure what it is, but they turn you into this really awkward teenager-like girl who can’t even tell him if she wants red or white wine without stuttering. “Oh um, I’ll take r-r-r-ed. I guess. Or what do you want? Do you like red? Or do you like white? Forget it. I’ll just have what you’re having.”

Um. Ok.

Dating is the worst. When I first became single the thought of dating was exciting. Getting dressed up, going for free meals and drinks, and getting that new beginning feeling. It was fun at first. But now it’s an exhausting and irritating CHORE. Now that I’m genuinely serious about getting into a relationship I’ve suddenly turned into a stuttering, deer-in-headlights, air head. I just want to be like, “I swear to God I’m smart. I have two degrees.”

So how do you lose a guy in 10 days (or less) not on purpose? I’d like to chalk up one component: being awkward and weirding out the opposite sex. How do I know this? Because if I go on a date and the guy is awkward, I get turned off. The best way to avoid the awkward-ness is to go somewhere where you are both in your element. A one-on-one with some forced interaction. Dinner dates – no. Coffee – no.

Some may disagree with me, but I find dinner dates and coffee dates super awkward. You have to constantly keep your conversation game up which usually ends up in 21 questions. Dates should not be a pop quiz or job interview. This usually causes me to ramble on, and eventually I realize how much I’m rambling and then my face goes red and the whole restaurant suddenly knows I’m on a first date. At that point I’m ready for my second 9oz glass of wine which basically means I’m wasted. So, now I’m awkward and slurring my words. Great first impression.

The best date I ever went on was one where a guy took me rock climbing. It was so much fun, and a great way to get to know each other. The physical activity helped take away from the awkwardness and 21 questions. We got to know each other in a different way and it was so much more relaxed. Think of it this way: if there’s a situation that’s going to make you feel quiet, awkward or shy…abort mission. Suggest something else. And never be shy about suggesting a place you want to go to. Especially if you’re really into the guy. Choose something to do that you really like, you’re good at, and isn’t going to make you feel embarrassed. When you’re in your element dating is so much smoother. I’ve lost a few good catches to my awkwardness because I let the guy take the lead. I’m not a follower…I’m a leader. So when someone takes my place in that role I get weird.

When people tell me ‘Just be yourself’ I’m like, yea, ok. Right after I get through this painful dinner of answering questions like, ‘What’s your favourite colour? Do you have any brothers or sisters? What school did you graduate from?” Yawn. Next guy who suggests dinner or coffee as a first date is getting red flagged. Save me the awkwardness of being grilled.

Happy dating!

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